We've all seen the version of "strong" that's been sold to us. The woman who does it all without breaking a sweat, who never needs help, who smiles through the storm and keeps going no matter what.
But here's the truth.
That's not strength.
That's survival.
Real strength looks very different.
It's resting when your body says "enough".
It's asking for help, even when your pride wants to keep quiet.
It's being honest about how you're really doing, even when it's messy or uncomfortable.
You've been told your worth comes from what you do, how much you give, or how much you are liked, but that is not self-worth - that's performance.
When your value depends on how productive you are or how many people approve of you, you're left on a never-ending treadmill of proving and pleasing.
No matter how hard you try, you never feel quite enough. That's because true self-worth doesn't come from the outside in.
It starts within.
It's quiet.
Steady.
Rooted.
And it doesn't disappear when people leave, plans fall apart, or life throws something unexpected your way.
You don't have to hold it all alone.
If you've been giving your power away to everyone else, maybe it's time to take it back.
So, where do you begin?
Here are two gentle ways to start building your self-worth from the inside out:
1. Notice and challenge your inner critic.
Pay attention to how you speak to yourself, especially when things feel heavy.
If the voice in your head is cruel or critical, ask yourself: "Would I say this to someone I love? "
If not, then, choose a kinder response.
This is not about toxic positivity, it’s about breaking the habit of self-shaming and starting to speak to yourself like you matter.
2. Keep a worthiness journal
Each day, jot down one thing that reflects who you are - not what you’ve done
Maybe it’s “I let myself rest,” or “I spoke up even though I was scared”
These small, honest reflections help anchor your worth in being, not doing
This is something I’m truly passionate about, walking alongside women as they reconnect with their inner strength and step into all that God has called them to be (and more). If you’d like to explore how I can support you through 1:1 counselling or Enneagram-based insight, either online or in-person along the Garden Route, feel free to reach out via email at www.mandyperkins.co.za.
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